When people get married, the bridesmaids need dresses. When your best friend gets married and you're her maid of honor, it turns out that you need to buy a dress. When your best friend who is getting married lives in Rhode Island and her dresses come from there, you have to find a place to measure you, call the RI dress shop, and order a dress you've never seen in the right size over the phone. You'd think this would be straightforward, right?
WRONG.
As it turns out, getting your measurements taken is a very complex process. I briefly consider doing it myself, but being the untrained seamstress that I am, I might end up getting the measurements incorrect, and ordering a dress that you've never seen is not the ideal time to have incorrect measurements. I decided to make Zeke the tailor my first resource. Remember
Zeke? Yeah. Zeke is the greatest Turkish tailor that you'll ever meet, but he doesn't know women's sizes and therefore can't take measurements. At least this is what he tells me. And because he's Turkish and awesome and since he usually makes men's tuxes instead of women's gowns, I believe him. Plus he gives me a recommendation for another place. That's a good tailor right there.
My next stop is French's Bridal. I figured hey, they're a bridal shop. They have to take measurements all the time! Plus, at one point Meghanne and I had gone there to peruse wedding dresses. Will they take my measurements? No. They "used to do that, but they messed up a few dresses for other stores and so they don't do that anymore." What? You sell and alter wedding dresses for your career and you messed up three DRESS measurements? My business = lost.
I'm beginning to think that I should just take them myself, since none of these places seem capable of measuring waist, hips, and bust. (Ooo, I just said "bust" online. Awkward?) As a last resort, I head to the place that Zeke recommended. The floor is dirty and the whole place smells like cigarettes. Gross. I almost walk out, but they've seen me already. Since the place is also a dry cleaner's, I think that my chances of success are slim.
"You don't happen to take dress measurements, do you?"
"Oh, of course we do! Just wait over here, and Rosalie will be right with you!"
Wonder of wonders! Miracle of miracles! The dress measurement process has been redeemed! After Rosalie whips out here measuring tape and wraps it around me a few times, she writes the numbers on a post-it, tells me it's no charge, and sends me on my way with a "Have a nice day!"
Moral: if you know that Zeke the Turkish Tailor is awesome, don't try your own judgement before taking his advice. He knows what he's doing and you most certainly do not.