Omnivorous Antipescetarian: Confirmed

I hate fish. Whoa.

Like the kind you eat, not the kind you keep in a bowl or a tank or whatever.

I had thought that maybe if I tried some again, maybe my last fish experience would have been long enough in the past that my taste buds would have matured and I would magically think that the taste and texture were the grandest things in the world. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

Last night, our choir had a very fancy end-of-the-year fête, including a gourmet meal with four courses: (hors d'oeuvres), soup, (palate cleanser), entrée, cheese, dessert. I took a lot of risks at this dinner. I ate both pea soup - the greenness of which has always perturbed me a bit - and foie gras. If you didn't know, that's made out of goose livers. Like I said...RISKS. (Good risks. As it turns out, pea soup is pretty tasty!)

But then came the salmon wrapped in bacon, covered with oyster sauce.

Dread came over me. What should I do? I resolved to try it. Be brave. Show the world that you are not intimidated by your food. It sat like a lump on my plate. Why is it so pink? I like red meat...but red fish? I cut off a large bite. No sample sizes here. Whole hog. I put the fish in my mouth and chewed. This texture is different then I imagined.

Then I tasted it.

Oh gosh. It's getting fishier...and fishier...and FISHIER! AHHHHH!!! IT'S LIKE EATING CAPE COD!!! QUICK! DRINK WATER! EAT BACON!! MUST. EVICT. FISH. FLAVOR. IMMEDIATELY.

At this point, I knew that I could not subject myself to eating another bite.

I know without a doubt that it was not the fish that was bad. Everyone around me was saying how splendid it was, how finely prepared, how flavorful, etc. I commend the cooks and servers for their top-notch cooking and serving. I wanted for nothing, and the evening was delightful. With the fish came green beans and mashed potatoes, which I ate with great appreciation and rapidity.

I did, however, discover that I really, really can't handle seafood. It seems to be anathema to me. Be forewarned, those of you who dine with me regularly.