How to Travel: A Humble Guide from a Coach Class Business Traveler

One of the perks/downsides to my job is that it necessitates a fair amount of travel. As someone who very much enjoys traveling, I often consider it a perk rather than a downside, but there are some disadvantages as well.

Pros: I get to go to a bunch of cool places this year. At the very least, I'm heading to Bethesda, MD (holy rich area), Seattle, and...drumroll...Amsterdam! I'm pretty psyched to go to two out of three of those places. Nothing against Bethesda, but it doesn't quite cut it when compared to Amsterdam. Or even Seattle! Seattle has become one of my all-time favorite cities.

[Pike's Place, Seattle, WA: 2012]

Cons: While it sounds a little snotty, traveling for business sometimes gets lonely and even a bit boring. The movies elevate business travel to something for the rich, famous, or elite, but I can tell you from experience that eating in a restaurant by yourself in a city that you don't know at all is far from the world of the rich, famous, or elite. Instead, it's pretty isolating.

[The Alamo, San Antonio, TX: 2012]

But over time, I figured out a few traveling tricks that have saved me time, money, and, of course, the inevitable absolute heartache of hanging out in a strange city by myself. So without further ado, here they are. Maybe they'll help you too.

[A ridiculous store in a mall in Bethesda, MD: 2013. I told you they're rich.]


1. This probably goes without saying, but wear uncomplicated shoes for flying, since the TSA makes you take them off in the security line. You'll be annoyed at yourself for the time it takes to get your shoes off and on again, and you'll be annoyed at the people behind you in line because they'll be annoyed at you for taking to long. Just don't do it. Don't be a disturber of the peace. Don't be like Gandalf.

2. If you're at all in a rush, avoid security lines with families with small children. It's a fact of life that anyone traveling with kids is going to be stressed, because not only are there more people to chase after, but there's more stuff that needs to be wrangled. Don't make the stressed out family more stressed by standing behind them and inwardly seething because the baby is crying, there are bottles that can't go through the machine, the toddler is running away, and the parents are trying to get all the bags on the belt and all the shoes off the people without sending the kids through the xray tube. Plus all the plastic bins will be gone. It's in everyone's best interest for you to just pick a different line.

3. Don't dress like a slob for the flight(s). There's really no excuse to look like a hobo in the name of comfort. You're in a public place, and therefore it's worth making at least some sort of an effort. More importantly, you're representing your company. If you strike up a conversation with anyone, you want to make a good impression both for yourself and for your employer.

[Undisclosed location in Columbus, OH: 2013]

4. If you bring a computer, put it in your bag so that you can get it in and out in the most efficient way possible. You have to take it out to go through security, and it's a total pain to have to unzip four zippers, unstrap some Velcro, put the computer in its own bin, send it through the machine, get it back in the bag on the other side, re-strap the Velcro, re-zip all the zippers, and then have to deal with all the rest of your stuff.

5. Have all your travel documents easily accessible so that you can get through security and on to the plane as quickly as possible. Doing that helps avoid the stress of trying to find it while everyone else in line is waiting for you. It's also good to have on the destination end, so that if you're renting a car or checking in at a hotel, you can get in line faster.

6. Speaking of lines, BEAT EVERYONE TO THE RENTAL CAR DESK. Those lines seriously take an age and a half to get through. I don't know why, but I swear... rental cars are by far the slowest part of the entire traveling process. I don't care how you do it, but get there first. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

[Times Square, NYC: 2013]

7. Do everything in your power to fit all your stuff into your carry-on bag. There's no reason to bring two extra pairs of shoes if it's going to cost you $25 dollars to check your bag. Plus if you have to wait at the baggage carousel, there's no freakin' way you're going to get to the rental car desk first, and that is paramount!

8. While in the city, avoid all the awkwardness of eating by yourself. I usually don't want to eat a long, heavy meal while traveling, so I usually just find the nearest grocery store, grab some yogurt and granola, and call it a night. That meal can even double as breakfast, and I save a lot of money on my eventual expense report. Note: if you do that... make sure the hotel has a fridge in the room. Lukewarm yogurt is gross (voice of experience here, people).

9. If you're somewhere you've never been before, use one of your evenings to do something! Go see a movie. Check out one of the main tourist attractions. Walk to the nearest Starbucks. Make sure you're in a good part of town before doing that. Don't hide in your hotel just because you're by yourself!

10. If it's the same price, choose a king sized bed when booking your hotel room. Having that much bed real estate (especially when accustomed to a twin sized bed) feels like the most luxurious benefit out there and brings you one step closer to the rich, famous, and elite. Because that's obviously what you're going for.

[Somewhere over the US: 2012]

So there you have it. Those are my 10 tips for traveling. Anyone else have some travel ideas worth sharing?

Working Existence

I spend a lot of time these days in an office building sitting in front of a desk. Side note: sitting for 8 hours a day + normal amounts of food + added chocolate + no exercise = not healthy. I don't recommend it.

I digress.

Look! Here I am! Sitting at my desk!

Yes. Yes I did take a selfie in my office by myself. I'm awkward like that.

For a long time (oh, two years), I sort of forgot that in order to make life interesting, you can't just go to work, talk to clients, go home, and repeat. Of course, that's not what I did all the time, but it often felt like most of my "living" was only happening on weekends. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and do something about it. 

Step 1 happened without trying. Making friends at work is easy when you're surrounded by good people! So...check. One thing off the list. Maria and Erica are awesome (one time Maria gave me binoculars - the mark of a true friend), and now they're bridesmaids. Win. Also I work with my fiance. Double win.

It probably should have been sufficient to stop there. Having good people surround you should be enough to make you a human instead of a request-answering robo-drone, right? No. I stayed stuck in my little routine, and I remained mostly dead. 

Enter step 2: making my office interesting. 

I got a cool bookshelf. I added an amusing grammar phrase in a frame. Later, I added an engagement photo. (That certainly helped because every time that I see it, I smile.) Then I added some fake plants.

That was almost enough. I even added a snazzy (real) succulent (also courtesy of Maria and Erica). 

But as I continued carrying on and feeling numb, I finally realized that filling my office with stuff and even having wonderful people around me wasn't enough for me to come out of my stupor and back to life. I mean, the fact is that I still look at this for most of the day:

Well, if I'm looking down and to the left.

The bottom line is that I can't count on external forces to make me an interesting person with an interesting life. I'm responsible for doing that. I'm not sure how I lost that for so long, but the eureka moment arrived, I felt like I woke up. And I'm hoping I can stay this way! I don't ever want to get bogged down like that again. 

As Julie says in the best movie of all time (Julie and Julia, in case you were wondering), "I could write a blog. I have thoughts." And that's where I am now. I can write a blog. I do have thoughts. I answer a lot of work requests, it's true. But no one says that the things I happen to do during the day need to govern my entire existence.

But just to make sure, perhaps I too should consider going to culinary school.

P.S. If you haven't seen that movie, do it now. Then tell me. But don't tell me if you hate it, because that's just not allowed around this part of the world wide web.

A Baking Story

Life lately has been...stressful.  That's ok.  It's made me realize how much I appreciate when life is slower and I have enough time to stop and think about all the little things that make it interesting.  Like cookies, for example.

Part 1:  When I was younger, my mom heard from a friend that you can make cookie dough, scoop it into ready-to-bake balls, and then put the dough balls in the freezer.  That way, you can have fresh baked cookies whenever you want, and you can control the portion size so that you don't have a whole batch of cookies that you could never finish by yourself.  (On second thought, perhaps you could.  I've never tried).

Part 2:  I usually eat two out of three meals per day at work, and the toaster oven across from my is often filled with toast, leftover pizza, or whatever else people like to bring for lunch.

Part 3:  Discovery: toaster oven at work + frozen cookie balls = fresh baked cookies at work.  Easy to bake, easy to share, available to whoever wants them whenever they want them.  The hallway smells amazing.

Here's what to do:

A)  Mix up your cookie dough the night before the day you want to eat them.  Limitation: if you want them to be easy, they need to be of the variety that you make from dough balls and don't require extra toppings (i.e. frosting, hershey kisses, filling, etc.).

B)  Scoop your cookie dough on to cookie sheets.  It's easier to clean up if you cover the cookie sheets with wax paper beforehand, because then you don't even have to wash the cookie sheets.

C)  Freeze your cookie dough balls overnight, and place them all in ziplock bags in the morning.  Bring them to wherever you plan to eat them (as long as the place has a freezer).  Obviously, you can leave them at home if you feel so inclined...

D)  When you feel like eating cookies, preheat your oven/toaster oven to whatever temperature the cookies bake at.  Bake them for 5 - 10 minutes longer than the recipe calls for to account for the fact that they're frozen.

E)  Let them cool awhile and then eat them.  Make everyone jealous of the fact that you're eating fresh cookies, and if they ask where you got them, tell them they can make some too!

F)  Achieve fame for out of the box thinking and tasty baked goods.

Cookie recommendations:

Toll House chocolate chip
Chocolate mint chip
Chocolate chocolate chip
White chocolate chip macadamia nut
Oatmeal chocolate chip
Oatmeal raisin
Peanut butter
Snickerdoodles
"Chunky Chocolate Gobs"
Any of the Betty Crocker mix cookies
Funfetti cake mix cookies
...pretty much anything else you can think of that goes on a cookie sheet in a ball...

Next office dessert project?  Microwave cake.

A Bird's Eye View

Today was a great day due to a small thing.  As in...literally a small object.  But before I can talk about this small object, I need to provide some background information.

Our office building is luxurious in that everyone has his or her own office.  I am lucky enough to have a window office that looks out over a large field that may or may not be a swamp.  If it is a swamp, it's been enormously beneficial in allowing various animals to inhabit the area surrounding the office building.  My friend Maria and I have often spent a few moments of our otherwise busy time gazing out the window upon the likes of groundhogs, cardinals, Canadian geese (curse the geese...I'll never escape them!), and even a huge red tailed hawk.

(via)

That was a glorious day.  It sat in the tree next to my window for a full 15 minutes!

Enough background.

Maria walked into my office today with a Christmas gift.  Inside said Christmas gift was a bird watching guidebook and a pair of binoculars.

New.  Favorite.  Object.

I've never been a bird watcher, but all of a sudden I felt like I understood the heart of hearts of all bird fanatics out there.  I have a full book of 121 birds to search for and check off the list!  I have 121 glossy pictures to marvel at!  I have binoculars with which to peer into the sky and watch the 121 birds speed across the horizon!  HOW COULD ANYONE DO ANY WORK WITH BIRDS IN THE SKY??

So if you walk past my office for the next, oh, I don't know...year...expect to see me with the binoculars glued to my face.  I will put a check mark next to every single bird in that book if it's the last thing I do.

All else is for the birds.

Breakfast Frustration

In honor of Shakespeare, Margaret Thatcher, Henry Purcell, Guy Fawkes (?), Richard the Lionheart, John Dowland, Francis Bacon, John Lennox, Charles Dickens, and (of course), Kate Middleton, I have eating tea and crumpets for breakfast every morning for the past several days. At work, no less.

They're delicious. They're a little like a hybrid of English muffins and sugarless pancakes. I'm sure they're not the REAL deal...but I quite like them. They remind me of our apartment Royal Wedding Extravaganza.

In any case, this morning I went go to heat up my crumpets in our office toaster oven. The kitchen is conveniently directly across from my office, which is great because then I can work while they toast instead of standing there watching them. I set the timer, walked away, and waited until the bell rang.

I was hungry. I couldn't wait to eat them...all covered in butter and jam, warm and slightly crispy, complemented by my steaming mug of chai. I reached into the toaster oven and started to take them out.

They were cold.

So logically, I reset some settings, put them back in, and did it again.

Still cold.

And a third time! This time making sure that the heat came on before I walked away.

STILL COLD.

I finally gave up and walked to the other toaster oven in our other kitchen. (Yes, we have two. Yes, one of them is chock full of awesome snacks. Yes, you're allowed to be jealous.)

Then I realized that the first toaster oven temperature was set to...oh...75 degrees.

Oops.

The Road Frequently Traveled

One time, I got sent to another state on business. I got most of the way to said state without a hitch: no taking wrong exits, no getting lost on back roads, nothing. Until the very road the hotel was on. As it turns out, this hotel has a very, very small sign that's the same color as the bush behind it, and since it happens to be dark at 9 pm and the sign didn't have a light, it was nearly invisible. So I drove up and down a 3+ mile stretch several times, which left me in despair and wondering if I should just pull over to the side of the road and sleep in my car. Both the despair and the sleeping-in-the-car plan may have been coping mechanisms that were laughable enough to keep me driving, but still. Sleeping in the car would have been very uncomfortable though, so finally I pulled a How to be a Millionaire and used up a lifeline.


It was extraordinarily helpful! I might have been driving forever without it.


I don't really count not being able to find something as being lost. I knew what I was looking for was supposed to be exactly where I was. But I'm not convinced I can still use "I've never really, really been completely lost before" as a claim to fame, especially since I have another getting lost story that's even better than this one. I'll tell that one another time. Oh well. Call it a humility check?

News.

Oh, perhaps I should mention this to relieve suspense.

(I'm employed.)

SURPRISE!!!

I'M ENGAGED!!!









Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Did I manage to fool you, or do you know me well enough to know that it's not even remotely close to a possibility at this point in my life? Basically, I have found the perfect method for eliminating awkward babysitting situations.

Let me elaborate.

Situation 1:

Stranger approaches Jillian accompanying small child in grocery store. Stranger comments on how cute small child is, asks how old, asks what preschool small child will be attending in the fall, assuming Jillian is the mother. Jillian responds with, "Oh yes, he'll be going to ____________ in the fall!" Stranger thinks Jillian is a very young, possibly teenage, unwed mother. Jillian feels uncomfortable with this conclusion and tries to get out of the situation as soon as possible.


Situation 2:

Stranger approaches Jillian accompanying small child in grocery store. Stranger comments on how cute small child is, asks how old, asks what preschool small child will be attending in the fall, assuming Jillian is the mother. Jillian responds with, "Oh, I'm just the babysitter." Stranger thinks he or she has made Jillian feel uncomfortable. Jillian thinks she has made stranger feel uncomfortable. Both back away from the other slowly.


TODAY, MY FRIENDS, THIS PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED.


Situation 3:

Stranger approaches Jillian accompanying small child in grocery store. Stranger comments on how cute small child is, asks how old, asks what preschool small child will be attending in the fall, assuming Jillian is the mother. Jillian responds with, "Oh yes, he'll be going to ____________ in the fall!" Stranger thinks Jillian is a very young married mother, Jillian feels justified with her slightly deceptive $2.80 ring, while both stranger and Jillian walk away from situation awkwardness-free.


And there you have it.


P.S. The picture makes it look like the ring is on my right hand. It's actually on my left; Photobooth just flips pictures, and it looked weird to have it flipped back to normal. I do, in fact, know the difference between right and left.

HOO-RAH.

Today I had an epiphany. Maybe one that I already had, but here it is.


I NEED A JOB.


Therefore, I applied for six jobs today, so that the next time someone asks, "How many jobs have you applied for since we last spoke?" (which happens more frequently than you think it does between friends, teachers, and parents...), I will be able to reply with a respectable answer.

Here is where I will commence kicking butt at this employment thing.

Mini Bread-Muffins

Hey, hey, it's been a pretty long while since I posted anything about food! That's terrible. I love food. But I'm living in a regular dorm again, so cooking food is no longer as easy as it was in The Apartment.

Today, however, I was babysitting, which meant full access to a usable kitchen!

(Aside: doesn't grammar dictate that you should use "an" before a word that starts with a vowel? Why don't words that start with u count?)

I decided that bread-baking sounded like a good plan to do with kids. They can mix everything together, and THEN!! they get to mush the dough all around with their hands! It was perfect.

I used the following recipe for Crusty White Bread:

2 packets of yeast
2 cups of warm water
2 Tbs. sugar
1 Tbs. salt
1/2 c. vegetable oil
6 - 6 1/2 c. flour

Dissolve the yeast in the water. Follow instructions on the packet.

Mix the sugar, salt, oil, and 3 cups of the flour together, then mix with the yeast mixture.

When it's well blended, add more flour until the dough is easy to handle.

Place the dough on a floured board (or counter) and knead for 8 - 10 minutes or until dough is smooth and elastic.

Place dough in greased bowl, cover, and let rise for 45 minutes.

After dough has doubled in size, punch it down, separate it into two loaves, place in greased and floured bread pans, and let rise for one hour.

Bake for 35 - 40 minutes at 400 degrees.


That's a pretty simple recipe, so I decided to make it more exciting. When we were mixing up the first ingredients, I dumped some cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves into the dough until it looked spicy. (For this type of thing I don't use measurements. Eyeball it...whatever looks good is probably right.) Then, instead of separating it into two loaves, I decided that we should make mini-bread, and we baked it in a muffin pan! I made a mixture of some butter, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves and brushed it on top of each mini bread-muffin as a sort of glaze. Since they were smaller, I cut the baking time down to 20 minutes.

They turned out great!



And they're highly kid-friendly. Seriously. Beyond the kneading fun, the kids get to mix things, watch the dough "grow like a plant," smell the wonderful aroma of baking cinnamon, and feel accomplished that they made something. Also - IT'S HEALTHY! I mean, let's face it...even with the glaze it has no more than a total of 4 tablespoons of sugar. What's not to like?

Fun at Work

Ok, so I know I'm supposed to be getting a real job and all, but honestly, babysitting is kinda fun. I mean, how often do YOU get to have someone do your hair, dress you up in a fancy evening gown made out of a large green blanket, and pretend that you're a movie star for 45 minutes at a time? I even had a photographer.

He was 4.

But still.



I felt so pampered.

Even if my hair was held in place by marker-covered popsicle sticks.

Occupational Benefits

My dear roommates/apartmentmates, Meghanne and Diana...


...work in the mailroom here at school.


(This is us, in a nutshell.)

Some of our other friends - who happen to be male - have been prank-subscribed to some magazines. They don't want them, because they are rather quintessentially girly. Thus, our apartment has gladly acquired said magazines - the kind that we would never actually buy or subscribe to ourselves because they would squelch our feminine dignity.


But since we have them, we figure we might as well read them. I mean, who wouldn't want to discover "what to wear, what to buy, and what to skip," "get the hair, skin, and body you want," find "new ways to wear your jeans," and learn to "shop like a fashion editor?"

I had a little time this evening, so I had a good time looking over the latest issue of In Style.


Apparently, I am not rich enough to be truly in style.


However, I can dream, right?


I found some things that I want (when I am rich and famous, of course). I can't use polyvore for this, because these items don't match. But I can display them separately!

I want to smell either like this:


Or like this:


I probably wouldn't use these, but I think these eyeshadows are really cool:



I love this skirt (maybe minus the bow in the front):


I really like this dress:


(Here we depart from the list of things I want.)

I think Penelope Cruz is gorgeous:


I love V8 Fusion juice; it's yummy (it was in the magazine, so drinking it must automatically make me cooler):


I guess that's all I have time to list, because student teaching requires that I go to bed early. Lame, yo.

WOO!

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK! Elation abounds!

Adventures in Babysitting

When I'm not being a summer custodian (I don't like the word "janitor," for some reason), I am a summer babysitter for a family with three children, ages 5, 3, and 1. All three of them are really cute, and we often go visit playgrounds, parks, the library, or even the grocery store. However, these outings have led to some interesting situations in which a variety of people ask me questions about the kids, like how old they are, if we live in the area, or if their hair color came from their dad, since it obviously didn't come from me. The questions leave me in a somewhat awkward position, seeing as option one would allow me to just answer the questions, leading the people to believe they're my kids, and option two would have me inform them that I am just the babysitter, making them feel slightly awkward. The questions also leave me wondering....do I look old enough to have three children already? Do these people notice that I'm not wearing either an engagement ring or a wedding ring and assume that I'm an extraordinarily young single mother? How should I accept compliments like, "Oh, you have such beautiful children!" when I'm not even remotely related to them? One time I said something to the effect of, "Well, I'm just the babysitter, but they are cute, aren't they?" The lady replied, "Oh really? You look just like them!" I'm not convinced I agree with that - I have brown hair, blue eyes, and a ton a freckles, while they have red hair, brown eyes, and no freckles - but it was interesting nonetheless. Maybe one day I will write to an advice column and ask for tips on babysitting interaction-with-people propriety.

Life Lessons from the Custodial Closet

This summer, one of my two jobs is being a member of the custodial team at school. (Is it legal to discuss this at all in the blogging world? Or online? Or anywhere?) I thought it would be just a normal menial labor job....you know, the kind where you go to work, do stuff, and come home without really thinking about anything. I was wrong. This weekend, a large group (around 1,600) of members of one particular Christian denomination (to remain unnamed) came to campus for an annual conference. I was stationed in the campus student center for the past two days, which meant that I cleaned and re-cleaned and triple-cleaned the entire building after each meal. It was an interesting phenomenon, being on that side of the spectrum. I've been to youth conferences, and I know that I never gave the cleaning staff a second thought. I mean, I'm not asking for any credit; that's part of the job, really. Some people did comment, though. Three people said something to the effect of, "Oh boy! Do you hire out? Come to my house!" One lady went so far as to say, "Do you want to be adopted? I could use the help, and you'd really like it, I'm sure!" I laughed, though I wanted to say, "Well, no, actually, I rather like my own family. But if you want to pay me more than my current hourly wage and give me 40 hours a week of work, I'd be happy to become your own personal housemaid!" Then there were the people who took the precious time out of their own busy conference schedules to say in that lovely condescending Christian-ese tone, "Oh, dear, thank you so much for all your hard work!" Maybe I'm being to critical, but that usually led me to think something along the lines of, "Well, I was already aware that you are a Christian, seeing as you're attending a denominational conference, and while thank you for thinking of it, I don't really need to be witnessed at because I'm one too. This just happens to be the most convenient summer job around." There are also the people that observe that we're cleaning and somehow misinterpret the job as custodian/information central/carpenter/waitress/servant. As I was wiping down tables in the dining hall, one man asked, "Oh, would you mind just taking my plate and tray over to where you put them when you're done? I'm talking." Before I could answer, the man next to him told me to keep cleaning and he would take it, which was very kind of him. I was a little ticked off, until some verses I memorized a long time ago came to mind: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus....Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." So being a custodian hasn't turned out to be just a summer job after all. It's a daily reminder that I am a servant to a much higher authority - one who believes and specializes in outstanding customer service.